The Poetics of Milton
Part 4 - On Laughter (in Latin)
During his stay at Cambridge, Milton had successfully mastered the study of the Latin language, both translating some of the Roman poets, and in trying his own hand at composing elegies and other poems in Latin. But now his studies at Cambridge were drawing to an end, and perhaps, his thoughts turned to his possible future as a poet or playwright, and whether he could also master the English language.
At a summer oratorical exercise, (perhaps during the summer it was not a part of his formal exercises) Milton gave an oration in honor of the god Laughter – again in Latin. And he started his bawdy and ribald speech to his fellow students, that:
“At a moment when the commonwealth of fools is, as it seems, tottering and on the brink of disaster, I have been made its Dictator, though I know not how I have deserved the honour. Why should the choice fall on me, when that famous leader and commander of all the Sophisters was an eager candidate for the post, and would have fulfilled its duties valiantly; for that seasoned warrior on a previous occasion boldly led some fifty Sophisters, armed with short staves, across Barnwell Field, and, as a step toward laying siege to the town in the approved military style, destroyed the aqueduct, in order to force the townsfolk to surrender through shortage of water. I am deeply distressed at this hero's recent departure, since his going leaves all us Sophisters not merely headless but beheaded.”
[note: a sophister is a 2nd or 3rd year student]
“I ask you now to imagine, gentlemen, although it is not the first of April, that we are celebrating the Hilaria in honor of the Mother of the Gods, or a festival sacred to the god Laughter. Laugh, then, and raise a roar from your saucy lungs, smooth out the wrinkles of your brows, make a long nose if you like, but don't turn it up at anything; let the whole place resound with shouts of mirth, let unbridled hilarity make the tears of merriment flow freely, so that laughter may drain them dry, leaving not a drop to grace the triumph of grief.”
[note: Hilaria was a Roman festival to the god Cybele, celebrated on the first day after the spring vernal equinox - the new year when the days are longer than the nights.]
“For my part, if I see anyone not opening his mouth as wide as he should to laugh, I shall say that he is trying to hide teeth which are foul and decayed, and yellow from neglect, or misplaced and projecting, or else that at today's feast he has so crammed his belly that he dares not put any extra strain upon it by laughing, for fear that not the Sphinx but his sphincter anus should sing a second part to his mouth's first and accidentally let out some enigmas which I leave to the doctors instead of to Oedipus to explain.
For I should not like the cheerful sound of laughter to be drowned by groans from the posterior of this assembly. I leave it to the doctors, who can loosen the bowels, to loosen up all this. If anyone does not raise his voice loud and clear enough, I shall swear that his breath is so foul and poisonous that the fumes of Etna or Avernus could not be more noisome, or at any rate that he is in the habit of eating onions or leeks so that he dare not open his mouth for fear of making his neighbours choke with his evil-smelling breath. Next, there must be no trace of that dreadful and infernal sound, a hiss, anywhere near this assembly; for if it is heard here today, I shall believe that the Furies and Eumenides are skulking somewhere among you, that their snakes and serpents have found their way into your bosoms, and that the madness of Athamas has come upon you ...”
And he would go on with the rest of his speech [you can read the entire speech here, with the Latin to English translation by Phyllis B. Tillyard] until he says, that he will continue with an abrupt leap from Latin to English, that:
“… I have ‘dallied’ (in the Neronian sense of the word) more than long enough over these things. Now I will overleap the University Statutes as if they were the wall of Romulus and run off from Latin into English. Lend me attentive ears and minds, you whom such things amuse.”
And the rest of his oration was in English, as he spoke to ‘English’, itself.
John Milton at age 20.
At a Vacation Exercise in the College
Hail native Language, that by sinews weak
Didst move my first endeavouring tongue to speak,
And mad'st imperfect words with childish tripps,
Half unpronounc't, slide through my infant-lipps,
Driving dum silence from the portal dore,
Where he had mutely sate two years before:
Here I salute thee and thy pardon ask,
That now I use thee in my latter task:
Small loss it is that thence can come unto thee,
I know my tongue but little Grace can do thee:
Thou needst not be ambitious to be first,
Believe me I have thither packt the worst:
And, if it happen as I did forecast,
The daintiest dishes shall be serv'd up last.
I pray thee then deny me not thy aide
For this same small neglect that I have made:
But haste thee strait to do me once a Pleasure,
And from thy wardrope bring thy chiefest treasure;
Not those new fangled toys, and triming slight
Which takes our late fantasticks with delight,
But cull those richest Robes, and gay'st attire
Which deepest Spirits, and choicest Wits desire:
I have some naked thoughts that rove about
And loudly knock to have their passage out;
And wearie of their place do only stay
Till thou hast deck't them in thy best aray;
That so they may without suspect or fears
Fly swiftly to this fair Assembly's ears;
Yet had I rather, if I were to chuse,
Thy service in some graver subject use,
Such as may make thee search thy coffers round,
Before thou cloath my fancy in fit sound:
Such where the deep transported mind may soare
Above the wheeling poles, and at Heav'ns dore
Look in, and see each blissful Deitie
How he before the thunderous throne doth lie,
Listening to what unshorn Apollo sings
To th' touch of golden wires, while Hebe brings
Immortal Nectar to her Kingly Sire:
Then passing through the Spheres of watchful fire,
And Mistie Regions of wide air next under,
And hills of Snow and lofts of piled Thunder,
May tell at length how green-ey'd Neptune raves,
In Heav'ns defiance mustering all his waves;
Then sing of secret things that came to pass
When Beldam Nature in her cradle was;
And last of Kings and Queens and Hero's old
Such as the wise Demodocus once told
In solemn Songs at King Alcinous feast,
While sad Ulisses soul and all the rest
Are held with his melodious harmonie
In willing chains and sweet captivitie.
But fie my wandring Muse how dost thou stray!
Expectance calls thee now another way,
Thou know'st it must be now thy only bent
To keep in compass of thy Predicament:
Then quick about thy purpos'd business come,
That to the next I may resign my Roome.
This poem marks the maturing of Milton, as he prepares to leave both Cambridge and its loathed scholasticism - ‘that to the next I may resign my room’, and also as he prepares to leave the Latin language behind, and to begin his study of his native English -
‘Such as the wise Demodocus once told, in solemn songs at King Alcinous’ feast, while sad Ulysses’ soul and all the rest, are held with his melodious harmony, in willing chains and sweet captivity’
but … he also kept, his (now-educated) sense of humor.
[next week - part 5 - on Laughter (in English)]